Uncertainties

There are many uncertainties when it comes to Autism. What is the cause? Is it something I did? Will there ever be a cure? Will my child receive the help he/she needs in order to be successful? Will my child be made fun of at school? Does my child know how much I love him/her? What would my child tell me if he/she could talk? What’s going on inside that little mind? What does his/her future hold? The list could go on and on and on.

With all these uncertainties it is so very easy for me as a parent to become completely overwhelmed by the What Ifs, What Wills, and Why Nots (the “three evil Ws”).  I let these uncertainties rise up in me until my heart feels as though it’s drowning.

There was one particularly hard day that I had had enough. I felt defeated by Autism and the “three evil Ws”. It wasn’t that Ezra was having an incredibly hard day, he was actually having a rather good day. But I have come to realize that just as my special needs child has those “bad days”, so do I. There are times where I just sit back and watch him and the uncertainties flood my mind; setting myself up for heartache and worry.  This day was no exception and I felt helpless.

So, I decided that instead of dwelling on all the uncertainties that Autism entails, I would make a list of certainties; the things I know without a doubt are true despite the grip that this syndrome has on my little boy.

What I am certain of:

-God has a purpose for my child and He will accomplish that purpose in spite of any syndrome or disorder my child may have.

- The Lord chose me to be the parent of my child. So, despite the fact that I may feel inadequate at times, I AM the perfect person for the job…the Lord chose me especially for my child!

-This is not our home. As a Christian, I know that one day we will trade in these earthly bodies for perfect ones. What a glorious day to see my sweet child and listen to him sing WORDS of praise to the Lord.

- The Lord will provide. The Lord will provide exactly what my child needs to accomplish his God-given purpose. We may or may not be able to afford the best of the best treatment or be able to go to every kind of therapy/program offered but the Lord will provide what we need in order to accomplish His special purpose for my child.

-God loves my child with a love far greater than I could ever comprehend. How much more must his heart break for my child and his frustrations and how much more must he rejoice with each triumph.

-The Lord never promised me “easy”. He did, however, promise that He will never give me more than I can handle. I must learn to lean on Him for strength.

- God is in control. He is on His throne. Nothing comes as a surprise to Him. He’s got this!

Such peace fills my heart when I remind myself of such certainties! I am so thankful for the peace of knowing that the Lord, my Heavenly Father, is in control!

Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”