But Even If

I have spent a great deal of time listening lately. I have had friends come sit on my couch as they poured out their heart and I poured out mine. I have had phone calls and conversations that broke the barrier of superficial “how’s the weather” type talk. It’s refreshing when people are real. It’s refreshing to listen as well. As I have listened, I have felt such heaviness for many of our friends. It seems we all have our struggles, don’t we?

If you read my last blog post, Breaking the Silence, then you know that our family is also struggling through a tough time. The Lord has been so gracious to remind me of His never-ending love! He has surrounded our family with a loving church family, friends, and family members to encourage us along the way. Most of all, He has been teaching me that He is a God who Is Able! Let me share a little with you...

Most of us know the bible story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. We know that King Nebuchadnezzar built a large statue and ordered everyone to bow down and worship the image he created. We also know that he made a proclamation that whoever did not fall down and worship the image would “immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace” (Daniel 3:6).

So, having just heard the herald’s proclamation, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew they had a choice to make. These three friends, being resolved in their hearts to follow the Lord, refused to bow to the image that the King had set up. Of course, King Nebuchadnezzar was furious when the three would not obey his commands. He gave Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego one more chance to bow down to the image he had created and warned them that if they refused again, they would be thrown into the blazing furnace. He finished his warning by saying “Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?” (Daniel 3:15).

And here is the amazing response of faith that these three friends gave to the king:

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve IS ABLE to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. BUT EVEN IF He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:17

This response friends, is one of great resolve. They had it set upon their hearts that God was bigger than all of this! If He chose to deliver them from the fire, He was able. If He did not choose to deliver them from the fire, they were willing to submit themselves to the WILL of the Lord. “Lord, have your way with us!”

This response is one of great faith in a God who IS ABLE. Do you know that our God is able?!

These three friends were also willing to trust God with their “BUT EVEN IF”.  I am learning that it takes great faith to trust the Lord in a time of “But Even If.”  Here are some possible examples of “But Even If” situations…

-“Lord, please deliver my family from this financial pit we are in! …BUT EVEN IF You will not, Lord we trust You and we know that You will provide.”

-“God, please show us where our family is supposed to move right now! …BUT EVEN IF You will not, we are going to trust in Your timing and Your plan.”

-“Father, help me to find a new job and get out of this terrible work situation! …BUT EVEN IF You will not, I am going to resolve to be Your light and Your voice in the midst of this dark atmosphere.”

-“Lord, please give us a child! …BUT EVEN IF You will not, we will trust You because You are Sovereign, and because You love us with an unconditional love. So, we will trust in Your will and ask for Your peace.”

…I don’t know what your “But Even If ” is, but I want you to know that HE IS ABLE. Do you trust Him in the “BUT EVEN IF?”

I will tell you, very honestly, the last few years have been the most beautiful, hardest years of my life.

I don’t know about you but for me, it is not always easy, but it is easier to say “Lord, Your Will be done in my life! No matter the cost! No matter what it takes!” But when you bring your children into the picture, when their health or future is on the line…it brings forth a whole new kind of meaning to the words faith, submission, and trust.

If you read my blog very often, then you know a little about our son, Ezra’s story. You know he has Autism, you know just how much we LOVE this precious child, you know that he has taught us so much about life, love, priorities, and what matters most. You also know that this journey that my family is on is not an easy one.

Having a special needs child has caused me to learn how to pray bold prayers. I am unafraid to approach the throne of God with my heart. Because here’s deal, He knows the desires of our hearts, He knows our thoughts, and He collects every tear that we have cried! Yet so many times we are scared to share these things with Him. We act as though we are scared to boldly come before a mighty God and ask for mighty things in His name! I don’t know how a mother’s heart couldn’t break for the deep struggles of her child.

So I stand and I pray “Lord, would you please heal my son? Would you please give him words so that he can speak? Would you please take his frustrations away? Would you please take away his aggression? Would you please calm the storm that at times seems to be raging inside of him? Would you please calm him so that he is able to rest? And I boldly pray these things to You God, because I know and I trust that YOU ARE ABLE!”

...BUT EVEN IF you will not, then Lord, may my family be a living testimony of Your goodness and Your glory. Lord, Autism does not win! We are going to lean on You for the strength we need every minute of every day. We are going to call on Your name in the midst of Ezra’s aggression and ask for peace for our souls.  We are going to rejoice with You over the smallest of Ezra’s accomplishments. We are going to run to You when our hearts are breaking for our son so much that we cannot even utter a sound. Lord, use us! Use Ezra’s life to somehow impact others in a way that they would be drawn closer to You. As much as I love Ezra, Lord You love him with a love far greater than I could ever comprehend! So, I am going to entrust his future and his life to You. God you are bigger than all this! I am putting my trust in You. Whatever Your Will, it is well with my soul.”

Friends, do you trust the Lord with your “But Even If”?  I promise you, He Is Able! May He reveal His faithfulness, unconditional love, and grace to you in very real ways as you place your trust in Him!

Ezra and Daddy play guitar! Thank You, Lord, for moments like this!

Ezra and Daddy play guitar! Thank You, Lord, for moments like this!