My Little Helper

To me, Ezra is a very beautiful and unique name. Our Ezra was named after his Great Grandfather, William Ezra Crew Huggins. We really wanted to use a family name and we loved that “Ezra” also happens to be a biblical name.

It wasn’t until after we had chosen this name for our son that I looked up its meaning. In Hebrew, the name Ezra means “helper”.  Though I can’t quite remember my exact response to this information, I’m sure it was something like “Oh, how sweet! Mommy’s little helper!”

And then, on a very special, very snowy day in December, my “little helper” was born. He was perfect. Such a beautiful baby. Our hearts were full.

We came home from the hospital full of excitement and expectation. Our family was complete! We looked on with joy as our sweet daughter kissed her baby brother and named him from that day forward, her “Ezra Brother”. What a joyous time!

The next few weeks to follow, honestly all sort of blur together. My sweet “little helper” had a shrill scream that I had never heard a baby make before. I couldn’t calm him like I had been able to our daughter. He reacted to noises differently…or sometimes he wouldn’t react at all.

As months past, it became more and more apparent that something was wrong. We began to pursue testing. My sweet Ezra failed several hearing tests and although that was concerning, at least we thought we had an answer. So, then there were appointments, and there were more tests, and there were doctors that acted like I was a young, paranoid mom, and we would get brushed aside… Don’t get me wrong, there was still a lot of joy in our home and many hugs and snuggles, but it was now apparent that my “little helper” needed some help.

Our fight for answers took a while. We moved home to have the support of our family and close friends. We had to push our way through the medical “system” and fight to gain the attention Ezra needed. And honestly, by the time Ezra was given a firm diagnosis of “Autism”, it really was no surprise to us.

My precious “little helper” requires a lot of care. My “little helper” requires a lot of patience. My “little helper” requires a lot of compassion. My “little helper” requires a lot of help…and probably will for a very long time.

But oh, how thankful I am for my “little helper”! You may think that someone who requires so much care, patience, compassion, and help would not be much of a “helper” themselves, but you would be very wrong.

I have learned more about life, love, priorities, family, and patience in the last three years of Ezra’s life than I have ever learned before. He has helped me to see beyond what is considered “normal” and to see to the heart of an individual. He has taught me to look at every person with so much more value. He has taught me that there are some things worth raising a ruckus for and to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.  He has taught me to live “all in” each moment, to take joy in the little things, to cherish even the smallest of accomplishments. He has taught me how to love in a different language.

I could spend a very long time telling you all the ways that Ezra is my “little helper”.  I feel so very blessed to have the honor and privilege of being Ezra’s mommy.

Ezra: what a perfect name for my very special “little helper.”

Story time with my Ezra! Of course, it's Thomas the Train!

Story time with my Ezra! Of course, it's Thomas the Train!